


Macho and the Nerd

by Jeminy3



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: Bisexuality, F/M, Light Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-26 11:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2650391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeminy3/pseuds/Jeminy3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So uh yeah, I saw that one poster up on Emmet’s wall and wrote a fanfiction about it - or rather, I used it as inspiration for a fic where I explored a personal headcanon about Emmet’s love of cop shows and his orientation.</p><p>Wyldstyle’s PoV as she muses over some odd things she’s been noticing about her new boyfriend, then tries to do something about it, with mixed results.</p><p>Features: Emmetstyle, Cheesy movies, talk about preference/orientation, specifically bisex/rom, angst/melodrama, comfort fluff, a vague hint toward possible abuse, mild hints toward construction cop - this fic is meant to sorta stand on its own, but one could see this relating to that very long concop fic I finished not too long ago.</p><p>Tumblr post: http://shipsintheharbor.tumblr.com/post/103184611092/macho-and-the-nerd</p>
            </blockquote>





	Macho and the Nerd

Vitruvius had always told her to keep her eyes peeled when it came to new friends - especially if you ended up falling in love with them and starting a serious romantic relationship.

It was Friday evening. Movie night. Wyldstyle was curled up on Emmet's couch, waiting for him to come back from the kitchen with popcorn, a small throw blanket on her legs to keep off the early winter chill. On the TV was the frozen DVD menu for a film called "Macho and the Nerd." He'd said it was one of his favorites.  She could already guess why.

She'd spent so many years traveling with fellow master builders of every shape, species and preference that she could say she had a pretty good grasp on telling whether someone preferred the company of males, females, or otherwise - and her new boyfriend was giving off some distinct signs. He still obviously adored women unabashedly, especially her, but at times it almost looked like he could swing the other way.

For one, he seemed awfully fond of anything involving men in uniforms and positions of high authority. As in, cop shows. Crime films. Especially of the 'buddy cop' genre, rife with cheesy dialogue and "bromantic" chemistry between the two male leads. He absolutely _loved_ them, almost as much as he loved talking about them. He'd go on and on about the characters, the writing or the filmmakers, sometimes with so much excitement he'd mash his sentences together or go off on so many tangents he'd forget what he was originally talking about. He was absolutely adorable. Personally she enjoyed the films more from an action movie fan's perspective, but she liked these sorts of evenings more for Emmet's bubbly enthusiasm than anything else.

But Emmet always seemed to fixate on the male leads and the actors who played them - he talked about them the most, and he had all sorts of promotional photos and memorabilia that focused on them in particular, especially in his bedroom. He had an awful lot of posters in his apartment, actually - athletes, musicians, celebrities - all of them men. The only other pictures he had were of her and their friends.

She didn't think too much of all this at first. But then she noticed him getting... distracted. Sometimes when they were out eating at a restaurant or hanging out at a park, his eyes would wander and fixate on other people for an unusually long length of time - she didn't pay it any mind, but she did notice that the people in question were rarely other women. But he was always quick to snap himself out of it or pretend he was looking at something else, and he was quick to change the subject if she tried asking him about it. Even at the time, she had to admit, it was kind of suspicious.

But to top everything off,  Emmet was recently trying to strike up a friendship with Bad Cop/Good Cop, Bricksburg's newly appointed chief of police. At first, the idea was enough to make her eyes roll into the back of her skull, since in the recent past the officer was in the employ of a power-hungry tyrant and was willing to chase them through worlds and dimensions for a powerful relic and both their heads on a platter. But since then he'd seemed to turn over a new leaf, or so he (they?) claimed. Personally, Wyldstyle was still a bit skeptical, but spending nearly eight years of your life running from the law would do that to you.

Emmet, however, had taken the opportunity to fulfill his inner fanboy, talking enthusiastically with him about the policing field from a firsthand source, and despite Bad Cop's usual gruffness, Good Cop seemed to have taken a shine to him. He seemed like a nice enough guy, both sides of him, so overall, she wasn't worried. But Emmet would get awfully giggly and flustered when talking about them, and the only other times he was like that was when he was with her...

Suddenly she was distracted from her train of thought. "Okay! We're all ready!"

Emmet's cheery voice rang out as he wobbled into the living room, both arms filled with two large bowls full of popcorn drizzled with salt and melted butter. He was always insistent on a quality movie-watching experience, snacks and all. Wyldstyle smiled, relieving him of a bowl and tasting a piece. Yummy. He was also a pretty good cook, provided he had a recipe to follow.

He plopped down onto the couch next to her, draping a corner of the throw blanket on his legs. "Is it okay? You ready?"

"Of course, Emmet. Let's see what all the fuss is about," she teased. He chuckled in response, grabbing the remote and navigating to the _play movie_ option. "I think you'll like this one. It's not about cops specifically, but it's really funny and has some cool action scenes."

He'd given her a plot summary beforehand. Macho and the Nerd was, obviously, about a macho guy and a nerd. They start out as enemies but, after a mixup with the local mafia, the two are suddenly stuck with a briefcase filled with thousands of dollars and the entire police force on their tails, and they are forced to put aside their differences and work together to evade gangsters and law enforcement while delivering the briefcase to its intended recipient. Not really a cop movie, but still a buddy movie.

And from the opening few minutes, she could tell it was going to be a cheese-fest. Old school rock music, stilted dialogue, stereotypes everywhere. She fought down the urge to groan out loud - she was already losing interest.

Suddenly she thought of something - maybe she could try something new. She could watch _Emmet_ instead. She peered at his face through the corners of her eyes, occasionally glancing ahead at the TV to see what was happening, then gauging his reaction.

He was eating it all up, and not just the popcorn. His eyes lit up when the main characters came on screen, and made little noises and shifted in his seat when they interacted, as if he were fighting the urge to jump up in excitement and blurt something out about them. He cringed a bit when they got hurt or yelled at, and let his mouth hang open a little when something shocking happened. He was _so_ into it - to say he 'loved' this movie was almost an understatement. He was absolutely precious. Wyldstyle almost wanted to kiss his cute face right there, but she couldn't bear to break his concentration.

She continued watching Emmet's reactions until the climax started up, bringing in more action-oriented scenes. Green screens and stock explosion effects galore. It was just as cheesy as the rest of the movie, but still chuckle-worthy. She had a soft spot for silly old action effects.

Then the follow up scene started.

"Hey, Nerd!" Macho called out. Nerd wiped the blood from his mouth, rising to his feet and turning to him, expecting another insult thrown his way.

Cut to Macho. For once, his expression is a bit softer. Through the blood, dirt, and bruises, he looks vulnerable for once. "You saved my life back there."

Nerd's taken by surprise. "Oh, ah... guess I did, heheh." He pushes his glasses back up his nose like he always does.

"No really, man. We'd be dead meat right now without your crazy inventions. I uh... I'm grateful. Thank you." He means it. His face and tone of voice are the most sincere we've ever seen him.

Nerd gets embarrassed, scratching at himself and fidgeting with his glasses even more. "Aw gee, Macho. We wouldn't have made it if you didn't keep those guys off my back while I made them. I should be thanking _you_." Nerd means those words as well.

They continued awkwardly exchanging heartfelt words as Wyldstyle fought down a laugh rising in her throat. Good grief. The scene was so cheesy it was almost a full-blown romance. She had to see Emmet's reaction...

What she saw was a sight to behold. Emmet was completely transfixed. He'd stopped eating his popcorn and had a hand over his mouth, leaning forward in his seat, his eyes huge and glistening. Was he... _crying?_ She could see his throat swallowing and jaw muscles working, the corners of his mouth twitching a bit under his hand. But what struck her most was the desperate, longing look in his expression, as if he not only deeply cared about this scene, but maybe... maybe he wanted something like this in his own life.

She desperately wanted to offer him some sort of comfort, but thought it better to leave him be. As the movie's ending scenes played out he'd already composed himself, back to cheerily talking about random trivia about the actors and film makers as the credits rolled. Luckily he'd been so engrossed in the movie that he hadn't noticed Wyldstyle studying him the whole time.

It was so obvious now. He was bi. It all made sense.

But still, it was best to hear it in his own words. Wyldstyle knew it was a personal question that would probably require a bit of tact on her part, but she was never good at subtlety, and Emmet was never good at picking up hints. She could usually be more honest with him - she liked that about him.

His excitement died down as the credits came to a close. She decided to take advantage of it.

"Hey, Emmet?" He turned to her, smiling. "Yeah?"

"Y'know, uh... if you're like, bi or something, you can tell me. I won't judge you or anything."

That was a mistake.

His smile faded, the color draining from his face. He broke eye contact, glancing back and forth between her and the floor, his mouth trembling as he struggled to form a response. "Wh...I...I-I'm not... no, I'm not gay, or bi or whatever, I'm... I'm just..."

He pushed away his empty popcorn bowl to clutch his own elbows, curling up against the armrest and trying to make himself look as small as possible. She'd never seen him like this. It frightened her.

She reached out a worried hand toward him.  "Emmet? I..."

He shrunk away from her, still muttering. "No, I... I-I'm sorry, I... I need to... use the bath...room..."

He got up, still avoiding her gaze, and walked briskly down the hallway to his bathroom. She heard the door open and close roughly, a soft click indicating he'd locked himself in. She sat there on the couch for a few moments, still stunned.

She wished she could kick herself. Same old Wyldstyle, always going full speed ahead without stopping to think hey, maybe this is a bad idea? Maybe this is extremely personal for him? Maybe he was born and raised in _Bricksburg_ , a society that for many years was based on everyone being exactly the same as everyone else? And maybe, _just maybe_ , in the past Emmet was the best at doing just that? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why hadn't she thought about this more?

She got up from the couch, walking toward the bathroom to check on him. This was serious - He'd never responded to her like this. He was never eager to talk about this sort of topic, and if confronting him about it made him react like this, it didn't bode well. She couldn't help but wonder... had someone hurt him over this?

She approached the bathroom door quietly, leaning her head against it and listening. She could hear the shuffling of feet, the sink turning on and soft sniffling noises - He was crying. She felt her heart breaking. _Why_ by The Man Upstairs did she have to ask him that damn question?

She raised her hand to knock on the door and ask if he was alright, but stopped herself. What if she made things worse? Maybe he needed some time alone? She stood there for nearly a minute, biting at her lower lip, flip-flopping over what to do next.

She came close to giving up entirely until the sound of rushing water made her flinch. It was the toilet. Guess he needed the bathroom after all.

After listening to him move around a bit more and not hearing any more sobbing or sniffling, she finally gathered her courage and softly knocked on the door. "Emmet? Are you okay?"

There was a painfully long pause, and a bit more shuffling. Finally, there was a barely audible "...Yeah."

There was another soft click as the door unlocked and opened slightly, a piece of Emmet's face peering out at her.

His voice was barely above a whisper. "W... was I that obvious?"

"No no no, of course not, babe. Well, you _kinda_ were but... that's not the point." She shook her head, silently cursing her poor wording.

"Look, Emmet, it doesn't matter. You're fine. I'm the one who should be sorry - And I am. I'm really, _really_ sorry. I _totally_ crossed the line back there."

The door opened a little more. Emmet attempted to respond. "B-But..."

She shushed him. "No no, You don't have to say anything more now. It's okay. You can tell me later, or whenever you feel like it, okay?"

She reached out to touch him again, placing her hand on his own holding the door. He didn't shrink away this time. He looked to the ground, eyes glistening. He tried to choke out a response again, but all that came out was a barely audible noise.

She touched his cheek, letting him lift his eyes to meet her own. She gave him the warmest, most sincere smile she could muster. "Look, I love you, Emmet. And you're perfect just as you are. No matter what you are or who you like, I will never, _ever_ think any less of you. I _promise_."

He stared at her, eyes wide and filled with tears, his face crumpled up with emotion. Something told her he'd always wanted to hear something like this.

He opened the door wider, half leaning on it, looking like he wanted to fall over.  She took it as a sign, moving in and quickly scooping him up into a tight embrace. He crushed himself into her, sobbing quietly. She held him until they subsided - he probably wanted to get this off his chest for a long, long time.

After a minute or so he calmed down, standing back to look at her, eyes bloodshot. He smiled weakly, his usual cheerfulness coming back to him. "Thanks, Lucy."

He started wiping his eyes but stopped midway, remembering something. "Oh... by the way, did you... like the movie?"

She smiled again. "Loved it."


End file.
